So good! I was sucked into the story right away. I'm impressed with the amount of character development you managed to pack in such a short story! So many great lines throughout, but I especially loved this one: "Because sometimes, the true peril isn’t what we forget—but in what we surrender to the cold calculus of a machine…" Just brilliant. 👏
Damn, J, this is nothing short of amazing. Mind-bending and meaningful, with an ample amount of tension to keep me hooked. You commented several times about the length of this piece, but I found no wasted words, nothing of inconsequence, just great storytelling that Serling would be so impressed to read, I imagine. And while I am eternally and insatiably curious, I have never heard of the Zeno Paradox, so thank you for enlightening me. I'll never look at choice the same way again.
You deal with an important topic, skillfully laying out the complex events that lead to the ending using elegant prose. I couldn't stop reading. A truly epic Twilight Zone story.
I'm such an AI virgin, and although I deplore too much violence or suspense, in writing, I love the thrill of great writing and you've done a superb job--especially in collaboration with others!
What a fantastic story, J.! The world of it is so fully imagined, the characters beautifully drawn, and the conflict so deep and human. I enjoyed every word!
To me there’s always been connection between courage and compassion. To be compassionate is to be courageous. It’s a quiet courage though. No derring do bravery. The quiet courage to listen to one’s own quiet voice, rather than much louder voices. This story captures the quiet courage of compassion.
Thank you, Sue. Yes, it’s that quiet courage to do what is right. In Hanna’s case, it’s saying/doing as an older woman what she couldn’t as a child. Not many of us get that kind of second chance, except in The Twilight Zone ;-)
This is a satisfying read. Like others are saying, the ending is excellent. And your addendums and commentary at the end are really interesting and add more satisfying completeness to this project. Super cool. 🤍
Yes, and that conscious refusal to make "safer" choices always amazes me. Move, say you are innocent to save yourself, ignore the cry for help, run away from the burning car--yet people don't. Amazing.
'true compassion cannot be written in code, nor can conscience be confined to yes or no' — love this.
Choose Now:
✔️Good :: Bad
✔️Captivating :: Snore
✔️ Bold :: Meh
Hah! This is fantastic! Always the extreme binary
So good! I was sucked into the story right away. I'm impressed with the amount of character development you managed to pack in such a short story! So many great lines throughout, but I especially loved this one: "Because sometimes, the true peril isn’t what we forget—but in what we surrender to the cold calculus of a machine…" Just brilliant. 👏
Thank you. Short? hah! I thought I was done at 5k words but, well, <typing sounds>
Novellas are still pretty short! 😆
Many fathers lose touch with their reality in search for the holy grail. It was a great story. I would read it many times over.
Damn, J, this is nothing short of amazing. Mind-bending and meaningful, with an ample amount of tension to keep me hooked. You commented several times about the length of this piece, but I found no wasted words, nothing of inconsequence, just great storytelling that Serling would be so impressed to read, I imagine. And while I am eternally and insatiably curious, I have never heard of the Zeno Paradox, so thank you for enlightening me. I'll never look at choice the same way again.
Thanks Shane! I’m really glad you liked it. This story is definitely made for the curious and insatiable.
Zeno's Paradox being one of my favorite philosophical paradoxen, this story is outstanding.
Thanks Emil! Glad you liked it!
Doooope. Loved this. I love that you put the focus on the story and characters more than the sci fi. It was the perfect distribution imo. Well done.
You deal with an important topic, skillfully laying out the complex events that lead to the ending using elegant prose. I couldn't stop reading. A truly epic Twilight Zone story.
Thanks KC. Must be something timely in the air about it, couldn't leave it be.
I'm such an AI virgin, and although I deplore too much violence or suspense, in writing, I love the thrill of great writing and you've done a superb job--especially in collaboration with others!
Thanks Jill! Be sure to check out the other stories, just brilliant writing all around.
Will do
What a fantastic story, J.! The world of it is so fully imagined, the characters beautifully drawn, and the conflict so deep and human. I enjoyed every word!
Thank you, Liz!
Your words evoke a visceral response to Hanna's journey through The Substack Zone!
To me there’s always been connection between courage and compassion. To be compassionate is to be courageous. It’s a quiet courage though. No derring do bravery. The quiet courage to listen to one’s own quiet voice, rather than much louder voices. This story captures the quiet courage of compassion.
Thank you, Sue. Yes, it’s that quiet courage to do what is right. In Hanna’s case, it’s saying/doing as an older woman what she couldn’t as a child. Not many of us get that kind of second chance, except in The Twilight Zone ;-)
My favorite of the ones I’ve read so far.
This is a satisfying read. Like others are saying, the ending is excellent. And your addendums and commentary at the end are really interesting and add more satisfying completeness to this project. Super cool. 🤍
I like the ending of this much more than the earlier draft you sent. Compassion is human, decisions not so much.
There is so often no visible reason for what humans choose to do. Against what seems the obvious choice. It's the confounding mystery.
Agreed. It’s interesting that the extremes cut through, don’t they?
Yes, and that conscious refusal to make "safer" choices always amazes me. Move, say you are innocent to save yourself, ignore the cry for help, run away from the burning car--yet people don't. Amazing.