Gritty, fast-paced, disorienting, though it starts to settle us in at the end, like the slap to the face that calms the narrator. Looking forward to what’s next!
This was like riding a roller coaster, J. Easily the most manic, turbulent thing I have ever read. Some of the images killed me. "...A slosh of winter hits my shoes. Fuuu. My eyes are stinging ..." "...a gaggle of tourists blocking all movement, their shrill voices and phones out, taking selfies..." "...I blurt something – just vowels without meaning. .." "...barbed wire hula hoops..." You gave us a perfect beginning hook - who could resist it? And a truncated perfect ending. No more words were necessary. Yeeeow!
Some loser in a dead-end job in the city who's been dumped by his girlfriend inherits a fortune from his aunt? He hires a guy (lawyer) who's going to help him not screw things up, maybe.
Story that shows the world through his eyes and foggy brain?
Gritty, fast-paced, disorienting, though it starts to settle us in at the end, like the slap to the face that calms the narrator. Looking forward to what’s next!
Thank you! Such a fun piece to write. A while back I mentioned time dilation and this is the story I was thinking about.
This was like riding a roller coaster, J. Easily the most manic, turbulent thing I have ever read. Some of the images killed me. "...A slosh of winter hits my shoes. Fuuu. My eyes are stinging ..." "...a gaggle of tourists blocking all movement, their shrill voices and phones out, taking selfies..." "...I blurt something – just vowels without meaning. .." "...barbed wire hula hoops..." You gave us a perfect beginning hook - who could resist it? And a truncated perfect ending. No more words were necessary. Yeeeow!
Thanks for taking the ride on this experimental piece! It’s going to get crazier, hang on tight.
Gulp. Thanks for the warning. I'll go get my crash helmet.
Some loser in a dead-end job in the city who's been dumped by his girlfriend inherits a fortune from his aunt? He hires a guy (lawyer) who's going to help him not screw things up, maybe.
Story that shows the world through his eyes and foggy brain?
Everyone say hello to my (almost) synopsis engine! He’s not AI, he’s just my dad.
I was trying to see if I was on the right track. Guess so...