I opened this to save a selection for later off-grid reading…but I was curious from the first sentence and finished it all in one bite. A fascinating premise and beautiful writing.
I was thoroughly engaged in this story, J. I admit, I lost track several times over the relationships and genders of the characters, and had to go back. Your explanatory notes were helpful. As you say, "the why of the disappeared isn’t as important as the emotions of the people left behind." The back stories were not important to me. The characters became fully formed for me in the final couple paragraphs.The moods you evoke are beautifully inspired -- always. Sorry to say I, personally, did not respond at all to the too-fast and mechanical sounding voice-over. I would prefer YOU read it, slowly enough for us to hear nuances, even if full of stumbles and stammers. It would be real.
Thanks Sharron, as always, for the thoughtful comments. All fair assessments — the voice, the pace. And, I can see how an AI voice might be a turn-off. Though, this is a real voice (not mine) extrapolated by a computer. So, there’s *some* humanity somewhere in that damned machine. ;-)
I’m curious if the section breaks worked as a way of denoting shifts in time or if there was something else that could have helped bridge the various thoughts to make them more smooth.
I can't answer that question, J. You are a far better writer than I. Personally, I liked your story exactly as it is. I am old and quite often I don't understand everything a contemporary writer intends. I am fine with that. I appreciate a little ambiguity. ha ha ha! I look forward to your next.
At first, I thought this had to do with disappearing political dissidents. Then I wondered about the driver's empathy for Haruto: Was she feeling guilty over her role in disappearing people? Then you revealed the reason for the disappeared, cultural rather than political, the photo, and finally the driver's photo and story. Now I understood the why of balance. Miyu rebalanced her life and that of Haruto, two left-behinds who once again had a partner. Your unfoldment of the story is like being in the near dark and only able to discern vague shapes at first. Then, little by little, more light reveals a more distinct picture until all is known. Remarkable!
This story had a dreamlike quality for me that I enjoyed very much. Though I’ve never been to Japan, it holds a mystic allure for me and I love many things Japanese, including the formal-seeming culture. I like the gentle unfolding of possibility for Miyu and Haruto, and I like that it is sketched as delicately as Japanese brushwork. Beautiful and haunting.
I opened this to save a selection for later off-grid reading…but I was curious from the first sentence and finished it all in one bite. A fascinating premise and beautiful writing.
Thanks Bethany! I’m so glad you stopped by and enjoyed it.
I was thoroughly engaged in this story, J. I admit, I lost track several times over the relationships and genders of the characters, and had to go back. Your explanatory notes were helpful. As you say, "the why of the disappeared isn’t as important as the emotions of the people left behind." The back stories were not important to me. The characters became fully formed for me in the final couple paragraphs.The moods you evoke are beautifully inspired -- always. Sorry to say I, personally, did not respond at all to the too-fast and mechanical sounding voice-over. I would prefer YOU read it, slowly enough for us to hear nuances, even if full of stumbles and stammers. It would be real.
Thanks Sharron, as always, for the thoughtful comments. All fair assessments — the voice, the pace. And, I can see how an AI voice might be a turn-off. Though, this is a real voice (not mine) extrapolated by a computer. So, there’s *some* humanity somewhere in that damned machine. ;-)
I’m curious if the section breaks worked as a way of denoting shifts in time or if there was something else that could have helped bridge the various thoughts to make them more smooth.
Thanks again!
I can't answer that question, J. You are a far better writer than I. Personally, I liked your story exactly as it is. I am old and quite often I don't understand everything a contemporary writer intends. I am fine with that. I appreciate a little ambiguity. ha ha ha! I look forward to your next.
I really enjoyed this story. You are a fantastic writer.
Thanks for the kind words, Sean!
At first, I thought this had to do with disappearing political dissidents. Then I wondered about the driver's empathy for Haruto: Was she feeling guilty over her role in disappearing people? Then you revealed the reason for the disappeared, cultural rather than political, the photo, and finally the driver's photo and story. Now I understood the why of balance. Miyu rebalanced her life and that of Haruto, two left-behinds who once again had a partner. Your unfoldment of the story is like being in the near dark and only able to discern vague shapes at first. Then, little by little, more light reveals a more distinct picture until all is known. Remarkable!
Thanks KC! The unveiling is fine line, isn’t it? Thanks for finding the beauty in not knowing all the details up front.
Always preferable, in my opinion.
This story had a dreamlike quality for me that I enjoyed very much. Though I’ve never been to Japan, it holds a mystic allure for me and I love many things Japanese, including the formal-seeming culture. I like the gentle unfolding of possibility for Miyu and Haruto, and I like that it is sketched as delicately as Japanese brushwork. Beautiful and haunting.
Thank you, Liz! That’s very high praise indeed.