Maybe your best chapter, yet, J. Your description of Roberto's struggles under water had me holding my breath. The description of the amputation of the fingers was horrific. Roberto carries those physical scars and the emotional scar of his role in the deaths of his brother's wife and child. A heavy load, indeed.
Thanks KC! High praise. This chapter was a tough one to crack (aren't they all?) but it was long-in-the-coming. I'm glad those moments stuck with you, too. That makes me feel like I'm doing my job properly. The claustrophobic feeling of the cave and treading water are some things I pulled from some events in my past (you can read about it in the chapter notes).
"Moonlight carved each tier in silver, as if the goddess Ixchel herself laid her touch upon the stone."
"a whirl of stars. Not sky, but something older—twisting constellations blooming in motion just above his head."
"He chokes, kicking hard, his scream caught—flattened into a soundless blur as the light above him shimmers, just out of reach, like a sky flipped underwater."
Thanks Sharron! There's a lot of fun imagery to work with here. Maybe the most interesting part, for me anyway, is to imagine what this temple might have looked like as the real one was mostly wiped out in a hurricane years ago.
Obsessed beyond reason, the fear of drowning combined with claustrophobia followed by very dark regret and loss. You're wringing every dreaded emotion out in this passage. There MUST be light somewhere...
Maybe your best chapter, yet, J. Your description of Roberto's struggles under water had me holding my breath. The description of the amputation of the fingers was horrific. Roberto carries those physical scars and the emotional scar of his role in the deaths of his brother's wife and child. A heavy load, indeed.
Thanks KC! High praise. This chapter was a tough one to crack (aren't they all?) but it was long-in-the-coming. I'm glad those moments stuck with you, too. That makes me feel like I'm doing my job properly. The claustrophobic feeling of the cave and treading water are some things I pulled from some events in my past (you can read about it in the chapter notes).
This story is gripping! Yeow!
"Moonlight carved each tier in silver, as if the goddess Ixchel herself laid her touch upon the stone."
"a whirl of stars. Not sky, but something older—twisting constellations blooming in motion just above his head."
"He chokes, kicking hard, his scream caught—flattened into a soundless blur as the light above him shimmers, just out of reach, like a sky flipped underwater."
Thanks Sharron! There's a lot of fun imagery to work with here. Maybe the most interesting part, for me anyway, is to imagine what this temple might have looked like as the real one was mostly wiped out in a hurricane years ago.
Obsessed beyond reason, the fear of drowning combined with claustrophobia followed by very dark regret and loss. You're wringing every dreaded emotion out in this passage. There MUST be light somewhere...
The sweet isn’t so sweet without the sour.